Playdates for Kids With Asperger's Syndrome
Planning Successful Social Opportunities for Special Needs Kids
Sep 6, 2009
Like all growing children, kids with Asperger Syndrome need plenty of social opportunities. However the ordinary give-and-take of a typical play date can be stressful for children who lack an understanding of social skills. Parents will need to provide more structure to ensure success. With extra effort and some wise advanced planning, children with Asperger Syndrome can enjoy positive play dates with peers.
Realistic Expectations for Children With Asperger Syndrome
Selecting the right playmate for a child on the autistic spectrum is critical. It can be challenging for two special-needs children play together. Kids with Asperger Syndrome often play well with typically-developing older children, who can be more patient and understanding of social skill deficiencies. Special needs children frequently enjoy the company of younger children, less sensitive to quirky behavior. Same-age peers, if selected carefully, can model appropriate social skills.
While a play date for a typically-developing child may last an entire morning, play dates for special needs children are best kept brief. Socializing is hard work for autistic children who find long periods of playtime over stimulating and exhausting. Begin with a 60-90 minute play time.
Parental Guidelines for Successful Play Dates
Children with Asperger Syndrome do best with advanced planning and structure. Parents can alleviate concerns and help lower anxiety by forming a pre-play date plan. Simple guidelines and timetables help special needs kids feel safe and in control. Parents can make a flexible schedule with children before the socializing begins. For example: "First, we’ll build with Legos. Then we’ll have a snack on the patio. And, finally, we’ll walk to the duck pond."
Special needs children do well with small social skills goals. Focusing upon one or two specific social skills, for example: making eye contact, taking turns, or staying on-topic during conversations, will help manage behavior. It can be helpful to provide an icebreaker activity or a specific opening line, e.g. "Hi, Joey! Do you want to feed my hermit crab?"
Parents should not be surprised to find their special needs children need a bit of space during play dates. For example, the child with Asperger Syndrome may leave the checkerboard mid-game or want to swing without talking for awhile. Giving her the time she needs to regroup and re-enter the social activity can be helpful. Offering the guest a juice box, a puzzle or something to enjoy alone in the meantime is a positive solution.
Following the playdate, many special needs children will be ready for some time alone. Later in the day, talking together about things that went well is a good way to reinforce appropriate social skills. Asperger Syndrome children, like all youngsters, will feel satisfied after a positive play date. Allowing them to reflect upon their strengths will encourage future success.
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