Everyday Life with Autism
How to Deal with the More Mundane Details of living with an Autistic
Now that you have the diagnosis of this particular brand of special needs, how do you cope with the day-to-day details of living with this condition?
Handling everyday life with an autistic family member can be very like dealing with any regular child in your household to some degree. Most individuals are going to have their likes and dislikes in regard to food and clothing choices, as well as having issues with brothers or sisters, if they have siblings, and dealing with teachers and classmates if they are of school age and are functional enough to attend. Many challenges that face a parent or other family member when dealing with their autistic relation are simply a matter of trading certain conventions for a more creative and novel approach to tackling your routines.
Handling Meal Time
Something as basic as meal time might be considered a challenge by many. This does not necessarily need to be the case, however. For example, if the autistic child or adult insists on having a peanut butter sandwich every day without fail, even if it is for breakfast instead of lunch, allow them their preference. At least they are eating something fairly nutritious. Even otherwise normal people can get incredibly fussy about diet and the best advice is that as long as the food choices fall within nutritious guidelines to some extent this is not a battle you wish to wage. As long as there are sufficient vitamins and other nutrients supplied and consumed that is all that really matters.
Dealing With Apparel Choices
Many autistics or other special needs can be very picky about what they will wear. Certain fabrics may itch or otherwise feel uncomfortable to them while conversely they may enjoy the feel of a certain smooth, satiny material to the exclusion of anything else. Unless their choices cost an exorbitant amount, buy whatever they are willing to wear. As long as the clothing fits and is clean, that’s all that's important. Trying to get an autistic family member to follow current fashion trends simply should not be an issue. So what if they like to wear shirts with dinosaurs on them even when they’re thirty-two years old? Allow the autistic individual to express themselves with their wardrobe, just like anyone else. This may even help them to feel a little more like they ‘belong’ as they show off their personal style.
How to Shop with an Autistic Child or Adult
For picky individuals, always take them shopping for their own clothes and other accessories whenever possible. It’s too easy to choose something that you think they will like only to have it rejected for some reasoning known only to the autistic mind. Rejected items are very rarely given a second chance. Most autistic minds are capable of memorizing great stores of information. They will recognize the item again later no matter how much time has gone by. Might as well return it or give it away because the intended receiver is not going to use it.
Other special individuals will tolerate whatever is placed upon them. This can be a relief in some ways, but the ideal is to have the autistic family member willing to display some sort of preference, as this indicates that they are capable of showing how aware they are of their surroundings and are willing and able to interact with the world around them. Some others may obsess over how neat they look and insist on changing outfits or other items several times a day. Make sure to have plenty of similar items available for these quick-change artists whenever possible.
Approaching Basic Hygiene and Other Mundane Tasks
In most cases reminders will need to be given in reagrd to taking care of simple grooming needs. Comb their hair, brush their teeth, clean the dirt from under their nails and more may not only need to be given on a daily basis but often more than once a day. For those with a severe and therefore low degree of functionality this can mean these activities are done by family and other aides far after an age when a parent could stop with a regular child. This is where some frustration can really set in. Not knowing when or even if the autistic individual will ever be capable of doing these simple tasks on their own can be heart rending. Not just because the autistic is unable to perform basic chores and contribute like every one else, but because of the uncertainty of not knowing when or even if things will ever get better.
Relating to Someone with a Different Mindset
Always choose hope. Despite certain limitations, this is still a member of your family. There is a personality in there, even if much of it seems hidden or impossible to reach. Even if what does come out seems strange or completely alien, this is still your child, sister or brother, cousin, niece or nephew. This is still someone to care about and work to communicate with or otherwise interact with.
Imagine if you were dropped into the middle of a foreign country where you didn’t know the language and didn’t understand the customs. This is what it’s like not only for the autistic member but for the rest of the family as each tries to figure out the other. Every day is just a matter of teaching your special person the smaller aspects of life as you know them in the hopes that some of it will sink in and that connections will be made. In the meantime, learning their special quirks is not a bad idea, either, those little eccentricities could be your doorway to better communication or other understanding of each other.
Learn to Live with Your Household Quirks
Living with any other person on the face of this planet can be a challenge, as can be seen by the high divorce rate in the United States and elsewhere as well as all the political unrest across the world. Roommates of all sorts, including those related to each other, part ways every day due to disagreements, personality clashes or other strife. Learning to live with the particular quirks of an autistic or other special needs individual is not necessarily as dramatic as some might believe or may make it out to be. There are challenges unique to your particular situation, yes, but this can also be said for millions of households everywhere. Find what works and stick with it. Let go of that which does not produce decent results. Try, try again.
And take it all one step and one day at a time. Before you know it, those adjustments of your household will become routine. Daily rituals will seem ordinary, even if they are unique to your home. And family is still family, no matter who belongs to it. Autism and the adjustments that need to be made because of it is just one of a myriad of possibilities.
