Enjoy the Journey of Raising an Autistic Child
How to Thrive in this Special Needs Parenting Marathon
Jun 18, 2009
Raising an autistic child is like running the ultimate parenting marathon. The day-to-day responsibilities of managing their children's social, sensory and communication deficits can impose a significant toll on caregivers.
Moreover, without the typical developmental milestones as a reference point, caregivers often feel alone in formulating and implementing the treatment program for their children. These treatment approaches also entail a hefty investment of time, resources and money, which can place tremendous strain on the family.
Thus, it is little wonder that caregivers are daunted by the journey of raising their autistic children, which seem to stretch interminably into an uncertain future. How can caregivers not only survive, but thrive, in this parenting marathon?
Focus on Treatment Process, Not Treatment Outcomes
It is understandable that caregivers pursue specific treatment options with high hopes that their decision will yield the miracle of recovery. However, when their expectations are not realized, these caregivers can become frustrated and disappointed.
The reality is that treatment outcomes for each autistic child are unknown. Thus, caregivers should concentrate on the treatment process, i.e. doing what is within their power, either in directly administering the treatment or in selecting the appropriate professionals. Whether they are able to achieve the desired outcomes or not, caregivers should acknowledge their own efforts in doing the best that they can for their children.
This attitude is particularly important when they do not achieve the intended outcomes, or when they make mistakes. Caregivers must be able to treat these experiences as lessons, learn from them and move on.
Spend Within Their Means on Treatments
Some caregivers entertain high hopes because they have spent beyond their means in pursuit of specific treatment options. The resultant financial strain on the family that entails many sacrifices in their lifestyle can breed resentment and frustration among family members. This situation is further exacerbated when the treatment does not yield desired outcomes.
Therefore, in choosing treatment options, caregivers should consider the impact on the family as a whole. An unhappy environment that results from the pursuit of any treatment option may be a price that is too high to pay.
Carve Out "Me Time"
Many caregivers who dedicate their time and energy to caring for their autistic children often suffer from burnout and depression. They must institute "me time" to enjoy some respite from their responsibilities. The pursuit of interests during these timeslots can help caregivers to reconnect with their identity that is independent of their role as caregivers. These breaks will enable them to embrace their role as caregivers without feeling resentful at their autistic children.
Celebrate Progress, However Insignificant
Caregivers should celebrate progress, however insignificant it may seem to others. These little baby steps of progress bear testimony to the fighting spirit of the autistic children and their caregivers. It is certainly in these moments that caregivers are struck by the courage and resilience of their autistic children who struggle everyday to do things that others do with ease and take for granted. Acknowledging these hard-won milestones can provide an ongoing "boost" to both caregivers and their children to strive on valiantly in their life journey.
The responsibility of raising an autistic child is paved with many challenges that can deprive caregivers of their sense of joy in life. Nonetheless, they can participate in this parenting marathon with joy by focusing on the treatment process; spending money on treatments with their means; carving out time to pursue their own interests; and celebrating the progress of their autistic children.
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